Leaving Little to the Imagination

It’s April and the shops have begun to drip-feed us with lightweight, floaty pieces that make us all dream- perhaps prematurely due to the fact we live in England- about the summer ahead of us. Lace is back (did it ever leave, though?) and it’s still beautiful. In early-March, The Guardian posted a sweet little fashion snippet on their website about lace, which immediately made me fall in love with one of the items they featured; a pretty nude lace blazer from Next. At only £32, it was a dream and I really, really wanted it (although it all ended in tears as I went into my local Next a few times and, alas, no lace blazer was spotted).
I am also a fan of lace dresses. I have a couple of vintage lace dresses, which are both cream-coloured and both very gorgeous. I look so lovely when I team them with wellingtons and a straw hat to walk the dog in in the summer (I live in the countryside, so this is acceptable walking attire). I always feel like I should wear my lace dresses teamed with wellies to a festival, but cream lace + lashings of mud/sweat/beer = disaster. If high-street, cheap lace was involved, then I wouldn’t think twice about wearing that sort of garment to a festival. However, my vintage lace dresses (which, admittedly, didn’t cost a lot) are too precious to sacrifice.
I feel like I’m wavering slightly. Back to the topic I wish to discuss…
I’m not rich. My parents aren’t rich. Every day, when I go to school, I have to endure the sight of my fellow students huddling together in the bus stop, smoking and texting their ugly other halves. I see girls checking their reflections in car windows as they walk to school, perhaps because they fear they may not be orange enough. I see girls walking around in impossibly short skirts, uber-tan-coloured tights and Primark ballet pumps teamed with their uniform.
Anyway, to summarise: I know a lot about chavs. I see them daily. I loathe them- not only for their personalities, but also (sorry if this sounds so superficial and over-judgemental) for how they dress. Clothing that, once upon a time, was only rife in brothels has spread like a horrible rash through the, er, lower-class society.   

The latest tacky fashion trend?
Using a pretty lace top over the top of your cheap underwear (just the cheap underwear, may I add, nothing else to protect your modesty) to make you look ‘sexxxxxxiiii’.

Lace is feminine, pretty, innocent, no? Well, that’s what I thought, right until I suddenly started seeing photographs popping up on my Facebook news feed of drunken chavs at parties When I look at the photographs- because I am the type of person who likes to take a look at what people have been wearing- at first I think I am seeing double (or rather triple or quadruple or quintuple), but then I realise that in fact the girls all are dressed in the same sort of thing: New Look bodycon skirt, pale lace vest/body, visible bra (because if you can’t, like, see the bra then there is, like, no point, right?). I am so tempted to steal some pictures from Facebook to perfectly illustrate what I am talking about, but I fear that somebody I know will see this and then find out. So, I have compromised and chosen to pick on innocent famous figures instead. Sorry…

This is a bad start, because I have no idea who this is, but I chose this look because it is just about identical to what I am talking about. Note the lace crop top (if you can bare even more skin by wearing a crop top, then why not?) and the obvious black bra (if you can wear a black bra under a white top to make it stand out so much then, again, why not?). Although the skirt here is not bodycon, it is still of the tiny length that is the norm when you are dressing in this style.
Come on, be honest with me: does that look good? Please don’t say it does. Please. It does not look good. It is just not right.

Then there is one of my all-time favourite celebrities, Sarah Harding, who manages to combine two ugly ‘trends’- shiny leggings and the lace-top-and-bra combo- into one. What talent.

And here is an example of how retailers are brainwashing young girls into looking trasy:

That is just encouraging buyers to wear the top in such a way! God help us.

Perhaps Lady GaGa is to blame.

So, as you can see, there are many people- not just silly little girls- who are all in favour of the visible bra look. I know it’s not just a trend for the cheap and nasty; high fashion brands everywhere are loving the look… but they do it with a touch or two of class. A little flash of flesh is fine, of course. It shows that you’re young, fun and hints at the idea of sexiness without being in-your-face or at all unclassy. It’s still possible to wear lace tops, as they are very pretty. But what about wearing a cami underneath them? If I were to wear a pale lace top, I would probably wear a colourful, patterned vest underneath to make the look more playful and more ‘me’. Consider your other options with lace, though. Skimpy crop tops and vests are not the last resort! Try lace blazers, lace shirts (both of which are currently available in Topshop), lace accessories… your options are endless. Just make sure you choose a classy option!

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